The Footsteps of a Broken Stranger

by October Girl

Published July 19, 2007

In poetry/lyrics

I have to block out thoughts of you.
Because all it brings is depression.
I walk in the damp sand.

Watching the tide come in.
My footprint is imprinted
into the damp sand.

As the waves wash over,
the footprints are gone.
Nobody will know I was there.

The memory of you washes away.
Taking a part of me with it, also with you
because all I am to you is a stranger.

All You are to me is a stranger.
You are broken.
I am broken.

Comments & reviews · 3
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Leja
Review
Leja wrote a review Review · Jul 22, 2007

I have to block out thoughts of you.
Because all it brings is depression.


Depression is such a generalized term. What does that really mean anymore? Give me something heart-wrenching.

The ideas seemed kind of half-formed, and tehy change so often I can't really keep track of them.

User avatar
Fand
Review
Fand wrote a review Review · Jul 19, 2007

Clau's right; this is a prime example of navel-gazing. While it means a lot to you, I'm sure, there's very little meaning to an objective (outside) reader. The errors in punctuation and capitalisation, as well, didn't exactly lend itself to a brilliant review.

In the words of the Great Bradshaw:

Scrap this.

User avatar
Emerson
Review
Emerson wrote a review Review · Jul 19, 2007

this was very list like, and navel gazing. I couldn't feel anything. It's just young poetry about depression, the emotions don't even make sense once on paper.

I think I critiqued another poem of yours, but my suggestion is still that you should read more poetry. oh and this article I wrote might help you: Emotional Poetry.



For a short space of time I remained at the window watching the pallid lightnings that played above Mont Blanc and listening to the rushing of the Arve, which pursued its noise way beneath. The same lulling sounds acted as a lullaby to my too keen sensations; when I placed my head upon my pillow, sleep crept over me; I felt it as it came and blessed the giver of oblivion.
— Mary Shelley, Frankenstein